MISSION & APPROACH
Why Family Law? My Mission
People have said to me, “It must be so depressing doing what you do.”
The truth is that I find what I do to be uplifting and rewarding. My faith in people and their commitment to loved ones is reinforced though my work. My purpose is to help people through a difficult time by coming to terms with their situation in the most beneficial way in order to move forward in their lives. For clients with children, I stress the importance of protecting the children from as much of the potential conflict as possible, avoiding the temptation to share negative feelings about the other parent with the children.
When a couple separates and divorces, it is typically a monumental and pivotal experience which affects everything in their lives. There is fear and insecurity, sadness and anger. These are natural emotions to experience at this time and they deserve to be validated. I want my clients to feel that my office is a safe space to unload and share their concerns without judgment. In all my cases, my mission is to help my clients make sound decisions with regard to property, finances, and the co-parenting of children. Best results are achieved when people maintain their dignity and integrity. I work with my clients to diffuse conflict to the extent possible, promote cooperation, and find common ground. Settlement of cases outside of court is explored in every case with the hope of diminishing attorney’s fees and court costs, as well as the emotional toll on the client and family members. I suggest ways to uphold and preserve a sense of family in the wake of divorce, to strengthen the co-parenting relationship, and to maintain as much of the children’s accustomed family traditions and ties as possible.
My Approach
It is when people are first aware of a potential problem in their relationship or marriage that they should obtain legal counsel. My experience is that people often wait too long before consulting with an attorney. People may feel that taking this first step suddenly makes their problem seem all too real, or that it appears confrontational or that it signifies the beginning of a legal battle. In my view, the first step is simply about gaining helpful information and eliminating unnecessary anxiety. The lack of information is often the cause of people unwittingly taking steps which have detrimental legal ramifications. To assist people in avoiding this problem, I respond to initial calls and emails promptly and schedule first consultations as soon as possible at a reduced rate.
My commitment is to be trustworthy, reliable and invested in my client.
Whether the client seeking a divorce is someone who has experienced a myriad of challenges for a very long time, or someone who seeks to end a relatively short marriage, the decision to divorce is typically arrived at after serious thought and soul searching. It can be a very lonely time in which couples have felt the effects of living together while feeling alienated from one another for some time. With the economic challenge and lack of resources to afford two separate households, people often remain in the same home in an awkward state of being under the same roof, but leading separate lives prior to being officially separated or divorced. Divorce also corresponds with an end to many aspects of one’s life that one has likely cherished; perhaps a home the couple built together or which represents years of joyful memories, a reliable source of funds, the accustomed help and support of a partner, the built-in companionship and sharing of duties that once was. And to mark this end, there is no church or memorial service, no meal train of people bringing the family food, gifts and flowers. There are typically no cards of encouragement and sympathy. Unlike death, this is a finality which is not publicly acknowledged by our communities. People are left to absorb this experience on their own. I do my best to encourage my clients to reach out to their families and friends for support, and to be careful not to lean on their children, but rather to be alert to the effects on their children and to seek guidance. It is not uncommon for children to keep their true emotions hidden from their parents in an effort to not trouble them or add to their grief.
As an attorney, my first step is listening to my client’s story. Is this my client’s decision or is it his or her spouse’s decision? This is a very important distinction. The client whose spouse has decided to divorce is in a very different predicament than the client who has made this decision. Being the one who is told the marriage is over is in an unprecedented position of being told life is going to change whether he or she wants it to or not. It may be a very difficult and sudden reality to absorb. The spouse initiating the divorce may have contemplated doing so for some time. This can create a huge mental and emotional divide for the couple, with one spouse having had the time to quietly envision a new future, while the other spouse is left completely unprepared and reeling. My first consultation with the client is the gateway into the process that will unfold in its own way for each particular client. Each client is unique and each case is unique. I seek to understand my client’s intentions, goals, and priorities, and we, the client and I, determine how to proceed from there, taking all these factors into account.